Arab Humour/Jokes/Humor And Funny Videos ...

Joke: Woman and Man Road Trip

2011-09-17T09:22:00.000-07:00

Woman and Man Road Trip

Woman:

Pulls off at wrong exit.

opens window

asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer

Arrives at destination presently.

Man:

Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's the correct one.

Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's right.

Drives an extra 5 miles just in case.

Finally rolls down window just to get fresh air

Pulls up to a 7 -11

Gets three hot-dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky

Asks person behind counter how to get back onto the highway.

Gets back into car.

Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-11.

Drives down a dirt road with no street lights insisting this is the way back because guy from 7-11 said it was.

Almost hits a deer

Curses the night

Curses you

Curses the large slurpee

Drives and fiddles with radio.

Yells at you for suggesting the map again

Admits he didn't want to go to Thanksgiving at your sister's anyway.

He hates your sister.

Ever since she called him a pernicious weasel

He had to look up pernicious.

Couldn't find a dictionary.

Finally found a dictionary

Couldn't spell pernicious.

Seethes at the memory of it all

But she is laughing inside...

And of course you're still lost.

Joke: Good Trick

2011-09-17T08:57:00.000-07:00

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.

After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.

While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.

"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."

Driver's Test

2011-06-09T10:39:00.000-07:00

Driver's Test:

I failed my driver’s test. The guy asked me "what do you do at a red light?" I said, I don’t know… look around, listen to the radio… (Bill Braudis)

Late at Work

2011-06-09T10:35:00.000-07:00

Late at work:

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"

The Barber and the Kid (children Joke)

2011-06-08T09:04:00.000-07:00

The barber and the kid:

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

Wake me up at 7 am (Joke in moroccan Arabic)

2011-01-09T21:00:00.000-08:00

Wake me up at 7 am... :

Hada wa7ed khayna matayehdersh m3a mrato, wa7ed nhar bgha yfi9 m3a 7 am.. howa yekteb liha wer9a fiha ( Fey9ini m3a 7 am).. o 7etha liha 7da rassha o msha n3ass, laghed lih ma fa9 tal 11 am ....ou houwa ylga wer9a 7da rasso fiha ( Fii9 raha 7 am)

Arab Divorce

2010-12-28T00:37:00.000-08:00

An Arab man divorces his wife :

A man divorces his wife because he read on her identity card : "إمضاء صاحبها"
he thought it was her boyfriend :-)

For those who don't understand Arabic: إمضاء صاحبها = signature of the person to whom the card belongs, but it can also mean "signature of her friend or boyfriend :-) The guy thought it was the signature of the person to whom his wife belongs...

Thrifty Moroccan (Moroccan Humor, Joke in Moroccan Arabic):

2010-12-08T10:22:00.000-08:00

Thrifty Moroccan (Moroccan Humor, Joke in Moroccan Arabic):

Hada wahd rajel bakhil kharj howa wmratou kaydourou wmratou chafte wahd lksswa 3jbatha whia tgoul lrajelha 3jbatni had lksswa lli flvitrina galiha bssah galtlih ah howa ygouliha wakha kola nhar njibk tchofiha

Joke - Une femme de Homs en amérique (Syrian Homsi humor, Lebanese Joke)

2010-06-27T22:47:00.000-07:00

The Joke - Homseyee en amérique (Syrian Homsi humor, Lebanese Joke):

Kan fee wahdee Homseyee wa ima. Ijoo a America, bus ma andoon mahal ye namoo. Shafoo beit waa dukoo al bab. Ija al zulamee al bab waa al "Hello, can I help you". Aloo, "Can we stay here tonight (in broken English). The man replied "Sorry, we don't have any room". Al Homseyee aleet ima, "keef areef yanee nihna rum?"
(rum = Orthodox in Arabic)

Joke - The Syrian Internet Virus (Lebanese Homor, Homsi Joke, Syrian Joke)

2010-06-27T22:22:00.000-07:00

The Joke - The Syrian Internet Virus (Lebanese Homor, Homsi Joke, Syrian Joke):

WARNING: There is a new Syrian Homsi Internet Virus Circulating. If you receive an
email that says the following, you may be at risk:
DEAR RECEIVER,
You have just received a SYRIAN virus. Since we are not so technologically advanced
in SYRIA, this is a MANUAL virus. Please delete all the files on your hard disk yourself and send this mail to everyone you know.
Thank you very much for helping me.

Joke - Homsi and Shampoo (Lebanese humor, Homsi Joke)

2010-06-27T21:55:00.000-07:00

The Joke - Homsi and Shampoo (Lebanese humor, Homsi Joke):

A Homsi went to Lebanon to go shopping. He went to a store and said, "Do you have 'Beirut-boo'?". The clerk replied "Sorry, I've never heard of it". So he went into a second store and asked, "Do you have 'Beirut-boo'?". The clerk again replied "Sorry, I've never heard of it." The Homsi said "What do you mean u don't have 'Beirut-boo'Huh?Huh?. How do you wash your hair? In Syria we have 'Chem-boo'!!"

Joke - Homsi (Homsi Humor, Joke In Arabic, Lebanese Joke)

2010-06-27T21:53:00.000-07:00

The Joke - Homsi (Homsi Humor, Joke In Arabic, Lebanese Joke):

Fi marra haifa wehbe sa2aleto lal homsi iza benem ma3a??
homsi: la2 ma badde,ba3ednee iyem min el nom

Joke - 2 Homsis (Homsi Humor, Lebanese Joke, Joke in Arabic)

2010-06-27T21:46:00.000-07:00

The Joke - 2 Homsis (Homsi Humor, Lebanese Joke, Joke in Arabic):

2 homsis :

homsi 1: min fadlak biddi chouf el moudir
homsi 2: mich hon
homsi 1: ayyeh se3a byirja3?
homsi 2: tawwil belak tarou7 iss2alo!

Joke - Oran 2nd Paris (Maaskri Algerian humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-05-19T00:18:00.000-07:00

The Joke - Oran 2nd Paris (Maaskri Algerian humor, Joke in Arabic) :

Galek m3asakri kan yssma3 belli wahren 2eme paris li tlekah ygoulah: ah ..wahren 2eme paris ...eya khatra gale wellah netla3 l wahren ..min tla3 w hatateh taxi fi l'agance gata3 kwa3tah ...galhoum yen3albouh li wali l bled.

Joke - Maaskri and wahrany died (maascri algerian humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-05-16T16:16:00.000-07:00

The Joke - Maaskri and wahrany died (maascri algerian humor, Joke in Arabic):

Kalek wehed enhare un m3assakri met ou sahbou wahrani, alors hedek el wahrani jew lihe 2 diel el meleyka diewlou (anges) beche yedouhe lessma ze3ma, bessah el m3assakri jew wlie 3 diel les anges diewlou. hedek el wahrani kal l3azrine..kifeche lm3assakri jew lihe 3 ou ana jew liya 2 berk : 3azrile kaleh : hedek 2 beche yedouhe et un autre beche yfehmehe beli rahou meyet.

Best bumper stickers (American Humor)

2010-05-11T20:49:00.000-07:00

Best bumper stickers (American Humor):

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

I may be fat, but you're ugly - and I can diet

I have PMS and a handgun. Any questions?

Heavily medicated for your safety.

I'm not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.

People who think they know it all really annoy those of us who do.

I have a perfect body. It's your vision that's defective. (thanks to Jacob)

Jesus loves me, this I know - that is why I don't drive slow!

Just be happy I'm not a twin. (thanks to Jacob)

I'm not perfect, but I'm so close that it scares me.

Stable relationships are for horses. (thanks to Graham)

Your body would look good in my trunk. (thanks to Tiens)

Just say NO to negativity.

I thought I was indecisive; now I'm not so sure.

333: I'm only half evil.

I'm not saying you're a monkey, but take this banana and scram.

Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.

So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.

Want a little taste of religion? Bite the minister.

I didn't believe in reincarnation in my last life, either!

Life is too short to worry about how short life is.

Excess is never too much in moderation.

Conserve toilet paper - use both sides.

Help your local Search & Rescue. Get lost!

Crap! This is a terrible time for the meds to wear off.

Say "NO" to drugs. That will bring the prices down.

Jesus loves you. But I'm his favorite.

This bumper sticker intentionally left blank.

When you do a good deed, get a receipt in case heaven is like the IRS.

Joke - Hilarious Bumper Stickers (American humor, bumper stickers jokes)

2010-05-10T16:19:00.000-07:00

The Joke - Hilarious Bumper Stickers (American humor, bumper stickers jokes):

HONK IF PARTS FALL OFF

For a small town, there sure are a lot of assholes!

"If ass holes could fly, this place would be an airport!"

Honk to see finger!

"Better a blow job, than no job!"

My Otha Ride is YO MOMMA!

Work hard, the people on welfare depend on you!

I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.

Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have any film.

Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an asshole.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

My Otha Ride is YO MOMMA!

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

A woman need a man like a fish needs a bicycle.

My son is inmate of the month!

I wish I was Barbie...That BITCH has everything!

It looks like you bought that car from Dollar General!

It's fun to cheat on a test but, not on people

Honk if you`ve never seen an uzi fired out the back of a car window.

No fat chicks...........I just got new tyres

P.E.T.A.- People. Eating Tasty Animals

Joke - Funniest Bumper Stickers (American Humor, bumper sticker humor)

2010-05-10T16:16:00.000-07:00

The Joke - Funniest Bumper Stickers (American Humor, bumper sticker humor):

CAUTION: Your daughter might be on board

Hang up and drive!

Welcome to America ..... Now speak English

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.

Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.

Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people: Everybody, But Me."

If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

The proctologist called...they found your head.

Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings."

Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

Joke - Funny Bumper Sticker (American Humor)

2010-05-10T16:13:00.000-07:00

The Joke - Funny Bumper Sticker (American Humor):

Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death

Conserve toilet paper, use both sides

Don't come knocking if the car is rocking

Don't Steal....The Government hates Competition

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain

All men are Idiots, and I married their King

DRIVE LIKE HELL.. YOU'LL GET THERE!

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film facility

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW

I love cats...they taste just like chicken

What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

Save Water - Take a bath with your neighbor's daughter

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill

I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car

If you are psychic - think HONK

I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats

Keep honking, I'm reloading

Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else

As long as there are tests, there will be prayers in public schools

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Honk if anything falls off

I are proud to be a college student

Joke - Old couple and a Taxi Driver (Old age humor, old people joke)

2010-05-10T16:07:00.000-07:00

The Joke - Old couple and a Taxi Driver (Old age humor, old people joke):

An old couple is in a taxi in America.

The taxi driver says "So which part of England are you folks from?"

The old man replies "From Yorkshire"

The old lady says "What did he say?"

The old man says "He asked which part of England we are from and I said Yorkshire"

The taxi driver says "I've been to Yorkshire once. I stayed with an old couple. The woman was horrible, a right bitch, it put me off going to England forever."

The old lady says "What did he say?"

The old man says "I think the driver knows you!"

Joke - Woman Caught Speeding (Women Humor, women Jokes)

2010-05-10T15:49:00.000-07:00

The Joke - Woman Caught Speeding (Women Humor, women Jokes):

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,
please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

Joke: Rubbing a Bank (American Humor, Gangsters Joke)

2010-05-10T15:27:00.000-07:00

The Joke: Robbing a Bank (American Humor, Gangsters Joke)

Some not too smart gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the best plan. The next day they get to work and are able to get into the bank relatively easy thanks to their planning. Once inside the main vault they discover one wall is full of safety deposit boxes and start to work on them immediately. They drill and pry open the first box only to find a small container of vanilla pudding inside.

The Head Gangster says, "Okay, well, at least we can eat it." So they eat the pudding. They drill and pry open up the second safety deposit box and there sits another pudding. They decide to devour it too.

Determined to find the goods, the process continues for the rest of the night until all the safety deposit boxes have been opened. They didn't find any money or jewelry in any of the boxes. Disappointed the head gangster said, "Well, at least they left something for us to eat."

The next day, while listening to the news they hear:"Yesterday the largest SPERM bank in the USA was robbed by an unknown group of people....."

Joke - Wahrani zatel grave... (Algerian Oran humor, Algerian Joke)

2010-04-29T19:32:00.000-07:00

The Joke - Wahrani zatel grave... (Algerian Oran humor, Algerian Joke):

Gallek wahed wahrany ken zatel grave, tkhal ldareh 3la 5 ta3 sbah, aya martou hellet 3lih el bab, 3tahaa bssakla (gifle)
Galha : Oh! hada win tedoukhli ntiya !?

Joke - H'mama ya h'mama (Algerian Humor, Joke In Arabic)

2010-04-05T15:05:00.000-07:00

The Joke - H'mama ya h'mama (Algerian Humor, Joke In Arabic) :

Galek khatra wahad wahrani fi loto y'gabar fi m3assakriya: "h'mama ya h'mama", dor andah hiya : "hé khouya ana machi h'mama, ana gh'zala".
Gal'ha : "mouhime hayawane".

Joke - At the Doctor's (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-04-04T00:20:00.000-07:00

The Joke - At the Doctor's (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic):

Hada wahed rah letbib :
-"ya tbib khetrates rani nhess galbi ivibri"
Gallou tbib:
-"normal hadik el mout rahi tbipi lek"!

Joke - Workload (Real Estate Jokes)

2010-04-03T23:00:00.000-07:00

The Joke - Workload (Real Estate Jokes):

Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%.
Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two of them.

Joke - The Old Man and the agent (Real Estate Joke)

2010-04-03T22:56:00.000-07:00

The Joke - The Old Man and the agent (Real Estate Joke):

A crusty old man walks into a real estate office and says to an female agent,
"I want to sell my god damn house."

To which the astonished female agent replies, "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to sell my fuc*** house!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this office."

So saying, the agent goes over to the officer broker to tell him about her situation. They both return and the broker asks the old geezer, "What seems to
be the problem here?"

"There's no damn problem," the man says, "I want to sell my fuc*** million dollar home."

"I see," says the manager, "and this bitc* is giving you a hard time?"

Joke - Paycheck (Real Estate, real estate agent jokes)

2010-04-03T22:54:00.000-07:00

The Joke - Paycheck (Real Estate, real estate agent jokes):

An agent who was being paid by the week approached his office manager and held up his last paycheck.
'This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on,' he said.
'I know,' the manager said. 'But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you never complained.'
'Well, I don't mind an occasional mistake,' the agent answered, 'but when it gets to be a habit, I feel
I have to call it to your attention.'

Joke - Congratulations on your new home (Real Estate Jokes)

2010-04-03T22:47:00.001-07:00

The Joke - Congratulations on your new home (Real Estate Jokes):

A client bought a new home and the broker wanted to send flowers for the occasion.
They arrived at the home and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace".

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new home".

Joke - Well Behaved (Real Estate / Rent Jokes)

2010-04-03T22:43:00.000-07:00

The Joke - Well Behaved (Real Estate / Rent Jokes):

As PROPERTY manager of single-family residences, I was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions: "Professionally employed?" "We're a military family," the wife answered. "Children?" "Yes, nine and twelve," she told me proudly. "Animals?" "Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved."

Joke - The Landlord (Real Estate / Rent Jokes)

2010-04-03T22:39:00.000-07:00

The Joke - The Landlord (Real Estate / Rent Jokes):

A big, burly man visited the pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.
"Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400."

"How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher's wife. "May I ask who you are?"

They sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "I'm the landlord," he sobbed.

Joke: Letter to a Landlord (Real Estate Joke)

2010-04-03T22:35:00.000-07:00

The Joke - Letter to a Landlord (Real Estate Joke):

Excerpts from actual letters sent to landlords

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.

I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfires and burnt my knob off.

This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.

The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.

I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk? Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.

Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.

Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny color and not fit to drink.

Would you please send a man to repair my downspout? I am an old-age pensioner and need it straight away.

Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap? My wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 5:30 his cock wakes me up, and it is getting too much.

When the workmen were here, they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy.

Joke - The Case Of Beer (Canadian Humor, Couple Joke)

2010-03-15T18:39:00.000-07:00

The Joke - The Case Of Beer (Canadian Humor, Couple joke):

A Canadian guy is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.

His friend Randy stops him and asks, "Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case of beer for?"

"Well, I got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave.

"Wow," exclaims Randy, "Great trade."

Joke: Japanese Tourist in Egypt (Egyptian Humor)

2010-03-05T14:50:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Japanese Tourist in Egypt (Egyptian Humor):

A Japanese tourist hailed a taxi in downtown Cairo and asked to be taken to the Airport.
On the way, a car zoomed by and the tourist responded, "Ohhh! TOYOTA!! Made in Japan!! Very fast!"
Not too long afterward, another car flew by the taxi.
"NISSAN! Made in Japan!! Very fast!"
Yet another car zipped by, and the tourist said, "Mitsubishi! Made in Japan! Very fast!"
The taxi driver was starting to get a little miffed that the Japanese made cars were passing his Fiat, when yet another car passed the taxi as they were turning into the airport.
"Honda!! Made in Japan!! Very fast!"
The taxi driver stopped the car, pointed to the meter, and said, "That'll be LE 250."
"LE 250? It was so short a ride! Why so much?"
"Taxi meter. Made in Egypt. Very fast."

Joke - The President's Plane (Algerian Humor, Joke In Arabic)

2010-02-24T14:55:00.000-08:00

The Joke - The President's Plane (Algerian Humor, Joke In Arabic) :

Galak hanhar zouj mhabiL Algériens kanou gaadine f'le jardin ta3 l'hôpital hata téyara fètet aalihoum.
elmahboul eloual gal: hadi tayara ta3 el président!
elzaouj galah: la sahbi loukan kanet téyara présidentielle loukan les motards fatou m3a hadi téyara

Joke - Aarbiya mkhalta (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-02-21T19:37:00.001-08:00

The Joke - Aarbiya mkhalta (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic):

A Moroccan says to an Algerian: "Entouma el djazairiyin tahadro el aarbiya mkhalta belfrançawiya!"
The Algerian :" Hna? Jamais!"

Joke - Bush, Cheney and Mss Bush (American Humor)

2010-02-19T19:38:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Bush, Cheney and Mss Bush (American Humor):

One day Dick Cheney, George Bush and Laura Bush were in a private jet going to France.
Then, George Bush said, " If i throw this hundred dollar bill off this jet I'll make one person happy!"
Then Dick Cheney said, " Man if i throw ten, ten dollar bills down, I'll make ten people happy!"
Then Laura Bush said, " If I throw one hundred one dollar bills off this jet I'll make a hundred people happy."
Then the pilot said, " Man, if I throw these 3 losers outta this jet, I'll make six billion people happy."

Joke - My Mother In-Law...(Mother In-Law Humor)

2010-02-10T18:06:00.000-08:00

The Joke - My Mother In-Law...(Mother In-Law Humor):

Two husbands talking :
- My mother in-law is an angel...
- You are lucky, mine is still alive.

Joke - Maascri and Apricots (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-02-07T16:35:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Maascri and Apricots (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic) :

Wahed m3assekri rah lwahren,chaf 404 baché tbi3 les abricots,
klhoum : a baba, sfar lbid yetba3 blkilo!

Joke - Maascri At The Zoo (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-02-06T19:35:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Maascri At The Zoo (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic) :

Kayen wahed lm3aseri jamais rah l zoo, nhar li rah ken ki lmekhlou3 jamais chef les animaux kbar devan lui...
rahou ychouf f les animaux ki lhak lessba3 khle3 fih imala wesh dar dekhel rasso mn el caja ou k3ad ychouf...

Et apres l3asses bda ykoulou : "nahi rassek melcaja nta mahbool?"
Et lm3aaskri répond : "wesh? hanaklou anaya sba3 douka rani nchouf bark".

Joke - Maascri at the Pastry Shop (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-02-06T15:23:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Maascri at the Pastry Shop (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic):

Maaskri dkhel patisserie bach yachri un flan... en prenant le flan dans sa main, il remarque que celui-ci bouge ! Alors il dit au pâtissier : "aamou, nsena hta win i mout bach naklou ?

Joke - Maascri yedragui (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-02-06T15:18:00.001-08:00

The Joke - Maascri yedragui (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic) :

Kalek hada wa7ed el m3assakri kan koudém wa7d el batima kan yedraguer chafou l'algerois kalou:
asma3 rak tedragué!!? 3labalek kol étage tkhalasse 300 da wech mel étage kount tedragué ?
El m3assakri : 3ème ----- kalou : aya djatek 900 da.
el messkine khalso ou rah fer7ane lm3askere kalelhhoume bli 7chitha l'algerois kount nedragué fi 6ème étage..

Joke - Do You Know Me? (Attorney / Judje Joke)

2010-02-04T17:35:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Do You Know Me? (Attorney / Judje Joke):

In a trial, a Southern small town defense attorney called his first
witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs.. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The defense attorney was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the prosecutor?"
She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't
build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the
worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and in a very quiet
voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll jail
you for contempt."

Joke - Your opinion on Assad (Egyptian Humor, Joke In Arabic)

2010-02-04T14:19:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Your opinion on Assad (Egyptian Humor, Joke In Arabic):

Kan fe wahed masry 3ayez ye2tfasah..rakab tayara le syria.. lama wasal...ableto moze3a aleetlo hadretak eh ra2yak fe asssad? alaha el asssad da gahsh, haywan kawy!.... ithabas 10 sanawatt.... lama tel3a.. a2l atoub ba2a waroh 3omraa fel saudia.. wasal.. ableto moze3a aletlo hadretak eh ra2yak fe fahd? alaha..fahd haywan kawy... eit7abas 15 sanna.. lama tel3 a2l.. aroh balady ba2a kefaya marmata2... rekeeb el tayaraa2 lama weseel ableto moze3a aletlo eh ra2yak fe mobarak? alaha ana mabatkalemsh 3an el haywannat....

Joke - Maascri takes his Medicine (Algerian Humor, Joke In Arabic)

2010-02-01T15:43:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Maascri takes his Medicine (Algerian Humor, Joke In Arabic) :

Galek wahed m3asekri chreb ses médicaments machi fi wekthoum !? za3ma bach yahchihaaa les microbes !

Joke - El hmar ou lhmara (Algerian Humor, Joke In Arabic)

2010-01-31T13:22:00.000-08:00

The Joke - El hmar ou lhmara (Algerian Humor, Joke In Arabic) :

Galek wahed el hmar ( un âne ) kal l sa copine lhmara : wektach nedzewdjou ya lhmara? gatlou ki tseguem hadertek ya lhmarr !!

Joke - Batata (ALgerian Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-01-22T16:24:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Batata (ALgerian Humor, Joke in Arabic):

Un m3assakri sells el batata with his daughter in a mazda (truck) in a douar, one day a guy comes to ask him to marry his daughter, the m3assakri answers: ok at one condition that the wedding parade would be done in silence... The guy was astonished but accepts anyway. The day D arrives and the parade starts in silence... WHile getting out of the douar, and when they arrived to the guy's city roublou da3wa with les clakson alors the bride kharjèt her head mèn la fenêtre ta3 l karoussa w bdat : batataaa batataaaa!!

Joke - Maaskri in Palestine (algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-01-21T23:44:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Maaskri in Palestine (algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic) :

Galek khetra M3askri rah el Falestine bech idir 3amaliya intihariya ou yektoul lihoud, galek edkhal el wahed el kahwa, khelllaha hetta t3amret b'lihoud, rah djbed mouss ou ktel roho.

Joke - Public Paying Phone (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-01-21T23:39:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Public Paying Phone (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic):

Gallek m3askri opens a public paying phone, kteb 3and el beb: Please, Pay in Advance!

Joke: The Restaurant (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-01-21T23:32:00.000-08:00

The Joke - The Restaurant (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic):

Gallek m3askri a ouvert un resto, koul youm ybella3 3la 12 bech yrouh yefter....

Joke: Kada Jab El Bac... (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-01-21T22:49:00.000-08:00

Joke - Kada Jab El Bac... (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic):

Gallek Kada jab el bac, ou ken ghadi yrouh el wahran pour l'universite, aya gal le chibaniyya ta3ah: rani khayyef la el wharna yettonzou 3liyya, gattlah ma3liche weldi, yettonzou 3lik nhar ellawel, nhar ezzawoudj et nhar talet yenssouk... galha ammali nrouh nhar talet...

Joke: Kada Rah L Wehran (Algerian Humor, Joke In Arabic)

2010-01-21T19:40:00.001-08:00

The Joke - Kada Rah L Wehran (Algerian Humor, Joke In Arabic):

Gallek Kada, layem ga3 drahmeh w rah el Wahran...m3awel y"twahran", kla meleh fi chhar !
donc sona el yemmah :"ma Allah yarham bouk ! erslili chwiya drahem, rahi tahet biya ."
His mother : "ya wlidi, n3al echitan ou welli el darkoum.."
kada :"ya ma, ghir l'algerie li manwelilhech !"

Joke: Maascri and Wahran papers (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-01-21T12:15:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Maascri and Wahran papers (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic):

Gallek khatra m3ascri bgha ytzewej m3a wahrania rah 3and bouh wa galleh beli rani baghi netzewej .Bouh frah wa saqseh m3amen ki galleh m3a wahrania bouh ma amench 3aqleh, z3af we glebha 3la wouldeh ghorba we galleh laaaaaaaa hadi ga3 matgoulhech ghadi tkhalatelna dem et tt. Aya wouldeh galleh: la bouya ghi takhdemli el kwa3at te3 wahren ntalleg.

Joke: Never (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-01-21T12:11:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Never (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic):

Gallek m3assakri ja lel UK, aya chef madama, blonda et ga3, aya galelha raki 3ajbatni et baghi nekhrouj m3ak ghadwa... hiyya galetlah : Never, galelha: diriha never et demi paske ma noudch bekri!

Joke: The Driving Test (Algerian Maascri Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-01-21T11:59:00.000-08:00

The Joke - The Driving Test (Algerian Maascri Humor, Joke in Arabic):

Gallek ma3ssakri bgha yfewett l'examen te3 l'code (permis de conduire), saqssah l'ingenieur galleh ki tkoun fi hdoura w yatartgoulek les freins ...a gauche kayen jma3a(groupe) mjam3ine.w a droite kayen wahed...fimen tezdam ?galleh fejma3a..l'ingenieur : allaa..taktoul jma3a..!!!ghi wahed..!!
bon l'ma3asskri da lcode wa lpermis , chra loto..une fois hadik la scene sratlah , mhawed fi hdoura tartgoulah les freins ..a gauche kanou jma3a w a droite kane wahed..alors kisratleh , rah le jma3a..ghi temma tfakar cha galleh l'ingenieur..alors dar mjit li kane mjema3e wahdah..hadek assayed chaf elloto jaya rfad lbank li kane mjema3e fih wahrab...daha morah lma3assakri w khrajlah me taqa , galleh "ana qatlek qatlek rani qari a3lik fel code"...

Joke: Game (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-01-21T11:54:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Game (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic):

Galek wahed e7kam un jeune em3asakri (he showed him his hands) galou, hadi la gauche, ou hadi la droite. Emba3da khalat yadeeh (quite fast), ou qalou dourka warili ween rahi la gauche? lem3asekri qalou: "7abbes 7abbes ezrebtni"...

Joke - Kada at The University (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-01-20T22:16:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Kada at The University (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic):

Gallek Kada 3omrah ma qra,Khatra chra cartable rah edrab dawra fi la fac ta3 Essenia. Chaf madama, saqsaha :"Enti cha diri khti?" Gatleh:"Sciences exactes khouya,wenta cha dir?" Kada galelha:"Science fiction!"

Joke: Kada ou Kadour at the Airport (Algerian Humor, Humor in Arabic)

2010-01-20T21:58:00.000-08:00

The Joke: Kada ou Kadour at the Airport (Algerian Humor, Humor in Arabic):

Gallek khatra Kada ou Kaddour rahou el Paris fi L aeroport chafou ness wagfa 3and distributeur ta3 pepsi min ja tour ta3 kada dekhel une piece kharjetleh canneta 3jbateh el hala. Sarref ga3 drahmeh ou khawa ga3 distributeur. Kaddour galleh khalini nel3ab chwiya kada galleh hsedtni min cheftni nerbah, rouh ba3dni.

oke: At the Movies (Algerian humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-01-20T21:49:00.000-08:00

The Joke: At the Movies (Algerian humor, Joke in Arabic):

Gallek kada rah to the movies for the first time in his life. Shra ticket, 10 minutes later wella yechri ticket wahdakhour, 5 minutes later another time wella yechri ticket. Ja the cashier galleh : si mohamed ba3tlek 3 tikiyet alors que rak wahdek. Kada : wah 3la bali, bessah koulma nji dakhel, wahed ygat3ahli.

Joke: Lahlel rah yekhtob (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-01-20T21:45:00.001-08:00

The Joke: Lahlel rah yekhtob (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic) :

Gallek lahlel rah yekhtob chemss ma habbetche, galetlou belli hiya kbira 3lih w galeltlou yeqder ysiyyi m3a ennejma. Ki rah yekhteb nedjma galetlou: ca va pas! ana netzewwedj bwahed m3awedj kima nta! donc lahlel daqetlou et repondalha: hta ana kount ghi nza3aq, ana jamais neqbel bwahda koul lila sahra lbarra...

Joke: Maascri rah yekhtob (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-01-20T21:41:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Maascri rah yekhtob (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic) :

Gallek wahad m3askri rah yekhtob, galoulou ettefla mazalet teqra. Apres, 3la 5 ta3 la3chiya 3awed wella ki chafha kharjet me lycée.

Joke: An Algerian Wants to Get Married (Algerian humor, Jokes in Arabic, Arabic Jokes, Arab Jokes)

2010-01-20T15:32:00.000-08:00

The Joke - An Algerian Wants to Get Married (Algerian humor, Jokes in Arabic, Arabic Jokes, Arab Jokes):

Galek wahed syed hab yetzewej. mais bessah ma'andouch drahem parceque yakhdem fi hanout n'ta garantita. Immala rah yekhtoub. saqsah babat toufla: wesh takhdem?
Kalou nakhdem pharmacien.
Wahed el khadra hada jeune kaan yakhdem, ou ja babat a toufla 'ageb mel hanout. Shafou hada jeune, wella yqoul: Shouf Koul habba sba7 ou 7abba l'ashiya.

Joke: At the Pay Station Phone (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic, Arabic Joke)

2010-01-20T15:23:00.000-08:00

The Joke - At the Pay Station Phone (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic, Arabic Joke):

Gallak wahad kan yahdar fi taxiphone m3a madamteh , chaf khouha fayat aya qta3.

Joke: Are You Japanese ? (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic, Arabic Joke)

2010-01-20T15:13:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Are You Japanese ? (Algerian Humor, Joke in Arabic, Arabic Joke):

Gallek wahed ken fi bus, aya g3ad ychouf fi wahed essayyed meb3id nad w rah 3andah, gallah khouya baghi nsaqsik ntaya machi japonais? lakhour gallah ella khouya rak ghalet, aya esseyyed wella leplastou bessah 2min men ba3d 3awed rah 3andeh et galleh: rak sur belli machi japonais? lakhour galleh ha sahbi baghi t'habbalni goutlek ella, ayya le mec hadek hablah, darhaleh 4 wella 5 khatrates, ou koul khatra il insiste plus: rak sure belli machi japonais?? aya essayed finalement krah, galleh wah khouya 3andek el haq anaya japonais, ammali lakhour chef fih bien et galleh: bessah ga3 ma tchebahalhoumch!

Joke: Algerian Discovery (Algerian Humor)

2010-01-20T15:08:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Algerian Discovery (Algerian Humor):

The Americans were once digging into this mountain, they dug approximately 1000 ft. They happen to find a wire, a long wire. After the analysis of the wire, the headlines of the news paper read: Americans dig 1000ft and found a wire, proof that our ancestors 1000 yrs ago were using a telephone.

Algerians heard of the new discovery and got jealous. So they started digging in the Hoggar Mountain. The headlines on the news paper read: Algerians dug 500 ft and found nothing, proof that our ancestors 500 yrs ago were using wireless and blue tooth.

Joke: The Algerian Flag (Algerian Humor, Jokes in Arabic, Arab Jokes)

2010-01-20T13:23:00.000-08:00

The Joke: The Algerian Flag (Algerian Humor, Jokes in Arabic, Arab Jokes):

Gallek Ali ou Kada kanou idirou fel service militaire, aya le commandant gal el Ali " chtahouwa hada ? " (werralou el 3lam te3 el djaza?r), aya Ali gallah " hada el 3lam te3 el djaza?r". Le commandant tnerva ou gallah "hada mechi ghi 3lam hada mouk hada bouk hada djedek.." et après saqssa Kada "chtahouwa hada??" Kada galleh "hada la famille ta3 Ali"...

Joke: Mzabi In New York (Algerian Mzabi Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-01-09T14:41:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Mzabi In New York (Algerian Mzabi Humor, Joke in Arabic):

A Mzabi's son opens a store in New York, after few days he calls his father in Ghardaia (Algeria):
Son: Father, business is great here, but you know, in this city we work 24 hours a day, one never sleeps!
The Father: ya wlidi waalach matbii'ch eridou!! (Why don't you sell the door (of the store)!!

Joke: The Hens Seller (Moroccan Humor, Jokes in Arabic, Arab Jokes)

2010-01-04T21:42:00.001-08:00

The Joke: THe Hens Seller (Moroccan Humor, Jokes in Arabic, Arab Jokes) :

It's the story of a moul djaj who sells djajates...
A client arrives and says : - salam oualikoum khouya..
Moul djaj : - oualikoum salam..ech hab el khater?
- brit ouhad djaja dial jouj kilou..LAH i khalik
-wakha...hiyal lougla...(he goes into the cage where his hens are and tries to catch one... but wallou no he couldn't catch any...)
He says to the client:- ewa smahliya rjaf'LAH a khouya....
The clients leaves with empty hands...

Then comes a second client... then a third... It's always the same, no way to catch a hen...

And moul djaj, furious, closes his hanout.. then takes a stick and punishes his hens...)

Some time later, he reopen his hanout and a client arrives:
-salam oualikoum !
-oualikoum salam wr wb..ech hab el khater?
euh....brit djaja dial tlata kilou..

And moul hanout looks at the hens and shouts:
-EYWA LI FIHA TLATA KILOU DJI BLA SDA3 BLA GHAOUT....

Joke - A Moroccan Woman Takes A Taxi (Moroccan Humor, Jokes in Arabic, Arab humor)

2010-01-04T20:46:00.000-08:00

The Joke - A Moroccan Woman Takes A Taxi (Moroccan Humor, Jokes in Arabic, Arab Humor) :

A moroccan woman had a fight with her husband, she leaves and takes a taxi ... She gets inside the taxi, sits down and moul taxi tells her :

- Salam oualikoum a lella.

- Oualikoum tisa3...she answered furious...

- Fin radiya el chrifa??? (Where are you going?) Asked moul taxi ...

- Ma kaltha htal rajli bka liya ghrir nta ngoul halik?!! (I didn't tell my husband and you think I am going to tell you?!!)

Joke - Terrorists At A False Check Point (Algerian Humor, Jokes in Arabic)

2010-01-04T15:28:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Terrorists At A False Check Point (Algerian Humor, Jokes in Arabic) :

Two guys were interrogated by terrorists at a false check point.
They have been asked what were their first names :
- My name is Yassin, answered the first guy.
- And do you know sourate Yassine ?
- Of course! Bismillahi rahman rahim, Ya, Sin...wal kor'aane el...
- Okay, we are not going to kill you ! ...
Then they pointed to the other guy : "what is you name?
The other guy terrorized answers :
- Me??? My name is ...Fatiha !!

Joke: Better than nothing (Algerian humor, joke in algerian arabic)

2010-01-04T15:20:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Better than nothing (Algerian humor, joke in algerian arabic):

Gallek a pregnant Algerian, bkalha 1 week to give birth, dkhal her husband mel khadma, galetlou : "moh ki yzid el weld kifech nsemmouh "? galha ana rani hab nsemouh "kheir ellah" ...galetlou ana rani haba nsemouh "kheir eddine"....gaadou hagda, houa ygoul "kheir ellah" hya tgoul "kheir eddine"...
During the whole week ou houma medarbine....nhar zad meskine,zad handicaped, he was missing an arm and a leg...semmawah..............."kheir men walou" !

Joke: An Egyptian in Algiers (Joke in Arabic, Algerian Humor)

2010-01-03T07:45:00.000-08:00

The Joke - An Egyptian in Algiers (Joke in Arabic, Algerian Humor):

Galek an egyptien was in Algiers, he was looking the "grande poste". He ashks a young man: - "salama alikoum ya el akh ayna youdjid el barid el markazi (la grande poste)"?
L'algerois répond :- "rouh direct, ahbate les escaliers, adkhole fe tunnel, kamale tout droit, okhrodj oghzor en face, el batiment li djay fe l'angle hadik hiya la grande poste"!!!!
And the egyptian meskine doesn't understand a thing "mafhame walou" meskine galou :- "ya akhi hal tatakalam arabi (do you speak arabic)"?!

Fellag Videos - The Line "La queue" (Fellag Videos, French and Kabyle)

2010-01-03T07:28:00.000-08:00

Fellag Videos - The Line "La queue" (Fellag Videos, French and Kabyle):

Fellag Funny Videos - The Time Of The Ninjas "L'ère des ninjas 1/3" (Fellag Videos French and Kabyle)

2010-01-03T07:26:00.000-08:00

Fellag Funny Videos - The Time Of The Ninjas "L'ère des ninjas 1/3" (Fellag Videos French and Kabyle):

Fellag Funny Videos - Fellag - The Time Of The Ninjas 2/3 - : L'ère des ninjas"

2010-01-03T07:21:00.000-08:00

Fellag Funny Videos - Fellag - The Time Of The Ninjas 2/3 - : L'ère des ninjas" (Kabyle And French):

Funny Video : Fellag -The Girls ( Les filles) (Fellag Funny Videos, Algerian Humor)

2010-01-03T07:17:00.000-08:00

Fellag Funny Videos : The Girls "Les filles" (Fellag Funny Videos, Algerian Humor):

Fellag Video : "Me too I love you (Moi aussi je t'aime! murmura-t-il)" (Algérian, Kabyle Humor)

2010-01-03T07:14:00.000-08:00

Fellag Video : "Me too I love you (Moi aussi je t'aime! murmura-t-il)" (Algérian, Kabyle Humor) :

Joke: Funny Algerian Sayings (Algerian Humor, Jokes in Arabic)

2010-01-02T21:50:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Funny Algerian Sayings (Algerian Humor, Jokes in Arabic):

-Galek wahed chra zoudj trikouettes, Wahed Rose o lakhour MAKAROUNE !
-Galek wahed aandou deux chiens, wahed chien loup ou lakhour SMANLOU !!!
-Deux oiseaux etaient dans un nid, wahed tar o lakour DARBOUKA !!!
-Galek wahed drab dora KHELFETHALOU !!
-Galek Wahed drab tilifoun, djablou khouh lekbir !!
-Deux mecs qui marchaient. Ils sont arrivé à une intersection, alors wahed dar o lakour VILLA !!!
-Galek wahed echra sabbat kbir aalih, wella IKADROU!
-Galek Ouahed djeouez l’armée, khsser
-Galek Ouahda ââjebha el hal, t’zewjet bih
-Ouahed tah aalih el’lil, t’fedjekh
-Galek zoudj eshab rahou idaouiw fesbitar, wahed bra ou lakour AVANT BRAS!
-Galek Ouahed aandou Aîn daira, o l’oukhra wilaya
-Zoudj rahou elabhar,Wahed CAMPA, ou lakhour MISTARA !!
-Ouahed rah ichouf film touil, edda maah selloum
-Galek zoudj bnet aatawelhoum les resultats ta3 les examins, alors wahda passat ou loukhra CLIO !!
-Ouahed djret kerchou, djat deuxième !
-Galek wahed dja inowad etonobile nouwad BABAH !
-Galek wahed demanda Qahwa ma KABLETLOUCH !!!
-Ouahda talket ch’âarha, ahreb l’ha
-Galek Ouahed hab, r’haoueh
-Galek Wahed Ghar Bouchawah
-Galek Zoudj eshab rahou elabhar, wahed (il a pris un bain) aam lakhour SET ECH'HOUR (6 mois) !!
-wahed chra stylo khdar....tablou !!! (wela hmar)
-wahed sota star...tkasarlou stylo !!
-galek wahed,zoudj,tlata.!
-galeg wahed kla chkara chewing-gum......khra klakette 46 !!
-galek wahed kla nass bata zebda.......zlak galbou !!

Joke - Maaskri on The Phone (Algerian Maascri Humor, Joke in Arabic)

2010-01-01T14:02:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Maaskri on The Phone (Algerian Maascri Humor, Joke in Arabic) :

Galek m3asekri kan fe tilifone m3a madamto.
Ja jayez babaha raccrocha.

Joke: Maascri and His Lady...(Algerian maascri Humor, Jokes in Arabic)

2009-12-29T17:36:00.000-08:00

The Joke: Maascri and His Lady...(Algerian maascri Humor, Jokes in Arabic) :

Galek m3asekri kane m3a madamto. Dja babaha jayez.
Galha : "normal, kech makaine khok!

Joke: The Algerian and the Judje (Algerian humor, Joke in Arabic, Arab Jokes)

2009-12-29T16:12:00.001-08:00

The Joke - The Algerian and the Judje (Algerian humor, Joke in Arabic, Arab Jokes):

Gallek wahd el ma3sseki convocawah el dar chera3 comme témoin. Galleou el jouge: "anta medzewadje?" Rade 3lihe el me3ssecri : "wahhh!". El jouge : "m3amene medzewedje?" Rade el ma3ssacri : "m3à m'ra sid el jouge". Ennkhla3 le juje ou gallou : "3llah caiene elli medzewedje m3à radjel!?" El ma3ssecri rade : "ouwah caeine!". - Chcoune! El me3ssacri rade : "khti medzewja maà radjel".

Joke - Some Funny Sentences in Arabic (Algerian humor, arabic humor, joke in arabic)

2009-12-29T16:07:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Some Funny Sentences in Arabic (Algerian humor, arabic humor, joke in arabic):

Ouahda ââjebha el hal, t’zewjet bih.
Ouahed jeouez l’armée, kh’ser.
Ouahed ja dakhel lel kahoua, d’khel la taï(le thé).
Ouahed 3inou daira, l’oukhra wilaya.
Ouahed dreb eddenia b’koutpier, 3acha f’leplatre.
Ouahed kelbou hab, r’haoueh.
Ouahed djret kerchou, djra moraha.
Ouahed dreb tiliphoune, t’hamaoulou les cabines.
Ouahed dreb doura, djabetlou khouha.
Ouahed ch’ra sa3a, l’oukher d’kika.
Ouahda telket ch’3arha, ahrebl’ha.
Ouahed ouesse3 khatrou, seknoulou fih.
Ouahed tahlou el moral, t’kesser.
Ouahed ch’ra seroual k’bir a3lih, y kadrou.
Ouahed daoueh b’3ine, reddouh b’taxi.
Ouahed tah a3lih el’lil, t’feddekh.
Ouahed ma djah’ch en3ass, r’ked ou khellah.
Zoudj madamate rahou I djeouzzou examen, ouehda Passate, l’oukhra Clio.
Zoudj rahou l’bhar, ouahed 3am, l’oukher ch’har.
Ouahed a3ndou vélo, rouda crevette, l'oukhra houta.
Ouahed 7ab yencher el Islam, malkach msassek.
Ouahed kla la3dess khra bara 7did.
Ouahed 7ab yedkhoul fil Islam, dkhel fil 7hit.
Zoudj kanou yemchiou, ouahed dar, l’oukher batima.

Joke: At the Hairdresser (Arabic Humor, Joke in Arabic, Algerian Humor)

2009-12-28T20:30:00.000-08:00

The Joke - At the Hairdresser (Arabic Humor, Joke in Arabic, Algerian Humor):

Galek wahad kavi rah lelhafaf (hair dresser). When the Hairdresser finished kalou "ndirek gel oula c'est pas la peine?", kalou: dirli "c'est pas la peine".

Joke - A l'époque (At this period of time) (Algerian Maascri Humor, Maascri Jokes)

2009-12-27T19:19:00.000-08:00

The Joke - A l'époque (At this period of time) (Algerian Maascri Humor, Maascri Jokes):

Galek wahed m3asekri sema3 ennas ygoulou kelmet "à l'epoque" (at this period of time) bezzaf, rah seksa sahbah gallah "What does à l'époque" mean?.... His friend says "it means bekri".... That night before going to sleep, he asks his mother : " maa, ghadwa nawdhini a l'epoque"...

Joke: Galbi ivibri (Algerian Maaskri, Arabic Humor, Arab Jokes)

2009-12-27T12:04:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Galbi ivibri (Algerian Maaskri, Arabic Humor, Arab Jokes):

Galek wahed maascri rah chez le medecin galou rani n'hass hed leyem galbi ivibri machi comme d'habitude.
Tbib galou, djebli Rabi el mout rahi tbipilek yakho !

Joke: Maaskri Want's to Go To the Beach (Algerian Maaskri Jokes, Arabic Humor, Arab Jokes)

2009-12-27T11:42:00.000-08:00

The Joke: Maaskri Wants to Go To The Beach (Algerian Maaskri Jokes, Arabic Humor, Arab Jokes):

Galek ouahed el khatra kanet esskhana bezzaf . Ouahed el m3askri hab yroh elebhar bach y3oum . kan ydir fel stop . hata hbasslou ouahed b'mercedes 4 fare . Ou kan cha3el el klimatiseur . ki tla3 el m3askri hass blebrouda imala galou lel moul l'mecedes . hatni hna rahou dar el hal...

Joke: Kabch El Eid (Algerian Maaskri Humor)

2009-12-27T11:37:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Kabch El Eid (Algerian Maaskri Humor):

Galek khatra wahed M3askri wasmou Mabrouk Chra kebch el 3id. Kene tala3 fedroudj, tlaka m3a djartou Zoubida, alors kichafatou belkebch galetlou :
- Mabrouke el Kebch
Khzar fiha bez3af ou galelha...
-Zoubida elbagra!

Joke - The Imam (Algerian, Arab Humor)

2009-12-25T13:20:00.000-08:00

The Joke - The Imam (Algerian, Arab Humor):

Gallek khetra wahed rah chez el imam gallou : "chikh nakder nssali el djamou3a f dar, ou nasma3 el khotba f la télé, ou nssali m3a el imam ta3 la télé djama3a ?"
El imama lui répond : "zid dir drap noir foug el frigo ou hadj fel couzina"

Joke: Homsi and his Medicine (Homsi jokes/humor

2009-12-22T17:24:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Homsi and his Medicine (Homsi jokes/humor):

Q: Why does a Homsi take his medicine before the time he is supposed to take it?
A: Because he wants to surprise the Bacteria!

Joke : Saddam Hussein's Missiles (Moroccan Humor, Arab Jokes)

2009-12-18T15:14:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Saddam Hussein's Missiles (Moroccan Humor, Arab Jokes) :

During the war, Saddam Hussein wanted to launch missiles from the Moroccan coast to the US, but when he pushed the button, nothing happened. Turned out there were so many Moroccans hanging on to the missiles that they simply couldn't lift off.

Joke : You know you're a Moroccan when...(Morrocan Humor)

2009-12-18T14:57:00.000-08:00

The Joke - You know you're a Moroccan when...(Morrocan Humor):

Top 10 Reasons You know you're a Moroccan:

1. You had the dish and got all the European channels.

2. You had an extra half hour or hour for Lunch on Fridays.

3. Your mom, or sister, or the maid watched Guadalupe. You might have watched that too.

4. You sometimes ditched classes in high school to go on a date or just hang out with your friends within the school or close by.

5. You watched Captain Majid. And you wanted to be just like him. (Guy)

6. You'd call the maid from the kitchen to bring you a glass of water or a blanket just a few feet away from you (It?s sad I know).

7. Having an AC at home was a luxury, besides, in the summer, you just stayed downstairs, especially if you had ?la cave?.

8. Some dumb ass American asked you if you rode a camel to school. You laughed at it!! And said, yeah, you had to take a Camel cab a few times from your tent to school.

9. You remember when 2M had just started and you needed the ?decodeur? to watch good movies.

10. There are no lines anywhere. Push, shove, and try to get first, or the others will.

11. People who DIDN?T bribe had to wait longer for their paperwork of GOT in TROUBLE.

12. You wanted Morocco to go all the way in World Cup 1998. Brazil lost on purpose against Norway. You?re still kinda mad about that!

13. You or someone in your family watched Santa Barbara or Top Model on 2M.

14. There was no such a thing as a car seat for children and you could sit in the front next to your dad at age 3.

15. You have family in France, Spain or the Netherlands (The two last options apply more to you if you?re from the North or Rif). Or you have family in Italy (More applicable if you're from Beni Mellal)

16. The second largest mosque in the world is in the biggest city in your country

17. You were in love with Captain Majid and wished you could be friends with Saly. (Girl)

18. Airport workers offer to carry your bags for you and you say no.

19. You spoke French with some of your friends, your parents sometimes. But with your grandparents, it was Darija or Shel7a, Soussia, Rifya.

20. You think Moroccan food is the best, French food is second.

21. Gas is by the liter and you don?t pump it yourself, some one does it and you pay them.

22. You've seen 3 people on a motorcycle and 7 people in a 5-seat car.

Joke : Where were you born? (Egyptian, Arabic Humor)

2009-12-16T10:00:00.000-08:00

The Joke - Where were you born? (Egyptian, Arabic Humor) :

Wa7ad m7ashesh bes2al sa7bo...ENTA MAWLOOD FEIN...2allo sa7bo...FE MOSTASHFA...2am 2allo..LEIH KONT MAREED???

Joke: At The Algerian Cafe (Algerian Humor)

2009-12-10T21:50:00.001-08:00

The Joke - At The Algerian Cafe (Algerian Humor):

An Algerian walks into an Algerian Cafe with his Syrian friend and they order a coffee each. The Algerian said: "khouya a'tini qahwa press". And the Syrian goes: "A3tini Ahwee bidoun Haleeb"...

The Qahwaji goes: do you want me to come out and beat you up? you want "Bidoune Hleeb".. (a Bucket of Haleeb/milk)

Joke: At the Post Office (Algerian Humor)

2009-12-10T21:45:00.001-08:00

The Joke - At the Post Office (Algerian Humor):

An Algerian dude went to the post office to get stamps. He said " uridu tawabi3a barididya" (I want stamps)." The postman didn't get it. The guy next in line explains the nature of the request. So the postman said" ya si Mohamed wa3lah matgoulech timbre, mata3arfch tahdar el 3arbiya walla wach, yakhi hala yakhi, what's wrong with you, don't you know how to say "timbre" (stamp in French), don't you speak Arabic?".

Joke - The Memory Loss School (memory loss humor, elderly humor)

2009-11-16T18:20:00.000-08:00

The Joke - The Memory Loss School (memory loss humor, elderly humor):

Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening as they have done for the past 35 years. Max, the older, had been having problems remembering what cards were what, and usually needed help from his wife.

At the end of the card game Ed said to Max, "You did very good tonight. You didn't need any help at all. Why is that?"

Max replied, "Why ever since my wife sent me to that memory school, I haven't had any problems at all."

"Memory school? What memory school?"

Max thought for a moment, "Oh, what's that flower that's red with thorns? A really pretty flower...?"

"A rose?"

"Yeah...that's it!" Max turned to his wife and mumbled, "Hey, Rose! What's the name of that memory school you sent me to?"

Joke - The Food Order (Elderly, memory loss humor):

2009-11-16T18:15:00.000-08:00

The Joke - The Food Order (Elderly, memory loss humor):

This elderly couple is sitting on a park bench looking over a a large pond. Across the other side of the pond are vendors sell all types of food stuff. The wife turns to hubby and say, “I could really go for an ice cream cone.”

Hubby replies, “Well, I’ll go get you one.”

Wife says, “But, you’ll forget, you better write it down.”

Hubby replies, “No I won’t; what do you want?”

Wife says, “Get me a Strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles.”

Hubby replies, “Okay, strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles. See, I’ll remember.

Several hours pass and, finally, the hubby returns.

The wife asks him, “What took you so long, did you get lost.”

The hubby replies, “No, and I got what you wanted.”

The wife opens the bag to discover a cheeseburger and fries?!

Wife says, “I knew you should have written the order down.”

Hubby says, “What do you mean - every thing is there?”

To which the wife replies, “No, it’s not…look, you forgot the pickles!”

Joke : The Wife and the 100 Camels (Arab Humor)

2009-11-16T17:50:00.000-08:00

The Joke - The Wife and the 100 Camels (Arab Humor):

US tourists, a man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East. An Arab approaches the husband, saying, “I’ll give you 100 camels for your woman.”

After a long silence, the husband says, “She’s not for sale.”

The indignant wife says, “What took you so long to answer?”

The husband replied, “I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home.”

Joke: Iraqi, Saoudi and American at the Bank (Arab Humor)

2009-11-16T17:47:00.000-08:00

The Joke - An Iraqi at the Bank (Arab, Humor):

An Iraqi goes to the bank to get his salary from a French Company. The Saudi manager of the bank asks him to sign on the back of the check.

“That’s humiliation,” shouts the Iraqi, “why should the French sign on the front and I sign on the back. I want my money NOW!”

The Saudi refuse to pay him and the Iraqi keeps shouting in the bank then the American high manager comes with a 5kg hammer and knocks the Iraqi on the head.

After 5 minutes the Iraqi wakes up, signs the back of the check and gets his money. The Saudi clerk goes to the Iraqi and asks, “Tell me why you didn’t sign the check the first time but signed it later on?”

The Iraqi said, “You missed the point, you just told it to me, but the American explained it.”

Joke : George Bush and Dick Cheney (American Humor)

2009-11-16T17:44:00.000-08:00

The Joke - George Bush and Dick Cheney (American Humor):

The President of the USA, George Bush, and his Vice President, Dick Cheney, are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in, sees them and asks the barman, “Isn’t that the President and the Vice President sitting over there?” The bartender says, “Yep, that’s them.”

So the guy walks over and says, “Wow, this is a real honour! What are you guys doing in here?” Bush says, “We’re planning World War Three.”

And the guy says, “Really? What’s going to happen?” Bush says, “Well, we’re going to kill 140 million Arabs and one blonde with big breasts.”

The guy exclaimed, “A blonde with big breasts? Why would you kill a blonde with big breasts?” Bush turns to Cheney and says, “See, I told you no one would care about 140 million Arabs”.

Joke: The Arab Doctor (arab humor):

2009-11-16T17:41:00.000-08:00

The Joke - The Arab Doctor (arab humor):

Ahmed the Arab came to Sydney from the Middle East, and he was only there a few months when he became very Ill.

He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help Him. Finally, he went to an Arab doctor, who said, ‘Take dees bocket, go Into de odder room, shit in de bocket, piss on de shit, and den put your head Down over de bocket and breathe in de fumes for ten minutes.’

Ahmid took The bucket, went into the other room, shit in the bucket, pissed on the shit, Bent over and breathed in the fumes for ten minutes.

Coming back to the Doctor he said, ‘It worked. I feel terrific! What was wrong with Me?’

The doctor said, ‘You were homesick .’